From Sara Jane Rispoli's Notebook

Capitolo 6 – Metodi (Methods)

Hiding Money (Continued from page 33)

“…should always be tightly wrapped into bundles (stretch-n-wrap cellophane works best,) never larger than a brick or a loaf of pumpkin bread, ideally no more than two inches thick.  After all, there’s nothing as difficult to pack in a hurry as loose money; it’s like gathering dry autumn leaves without a rake.  Afterward, selecting an effective hiding place should always be a matter of concealing the cash in plain sight.  In other words, avoid all drawers, desks, sideboards, buffets, freezers and fridges, armoires, wardrobes, wall safes, mattresses, cabinets and closets – these are the first place anyone hunting for money will look, along with up a fireplace and inside a toilet tank.  If you must use a tank, make sure it’s filled with fish, preferably the kind that bite and sting.  But again, plain sight is best.  Take a long look around a bland, well-lit room and search for something that people walk past without even looking at anymore.  That dusty bookcase there in the corner, for example – who even reads books anymore?  Particularly effective are sets of encyclopedia, dictionaries (especially foreign language ones,) religious tracts, political biographies, and anything having to do with molecular biology or knitting.  Hollow them out and insert cash.  Not even the most intrepid federal agent will waste his time flipping open the life story of Rutherford B. Hayes. Next, using a …